I get the feeling Bouch is all at sea with this analogy but what the heck, he's enjoying himself...
Communique
To: Rear Admiral the Lord Adam Harperington-Blogsmythe, KCV A, RSE B, UM with Distinction
From: Commander of HMS Scorpion
Ref: Invasion of Kowloon Peninsula
Sir,
As instructed by Fleet HQ, HMS Scorpion undertook their planned invasion of the Kowloon Peninsula this Saturday last. We encountered some spirited resistance from a local force of Nomads but after several minutes skirmishing, we were able to fire off several successful salvos. As the engagement continued, the crew battled with structure and cohesion for periods whilst also managing to allow the opposition forces to appear as if they could resist. I have advised the crew that this sort of lapse in discipline is not to be tolerated and after the Nomadic force had been defeated by 52 hits to nil, we maintained station and undertook several essential keel-haulings as required by military convention. All members of the crew took their punishment like the men they are.
To be mentioned in dispatches:
Lieutenant Commander Giles Disney-LargeOick, despite his appalling lower middle class accent, the man charged with selecting our forces for this encounter did a more than sterling job and was suitable rewarded after the match. Unfortunately I was unable to formally present him with the MOTB medal as one of the previous crew members has neglected to return it. He will be scrubbing the decks appropriately.
Ensigns Nieto, Beckett, and Bowring and former Captain of the Vessel Shane Farmhand-Wallis performed very well and were responsible for the vast majority of the hits we achieved, for which the command structure were dutifully grateful. It is worth noting that unfortunately Commander Sir Watsonian-Northernbottom was detained in port due to hosting members of the Singaporean navy who had mysteriously arrived for a shared tour of duty. However when informed of the extent of our victory, Sir W-N was extremely pleased.
Once again, the entire for'rard section performed with distinction although our aeriel support group, used when we were at the edge of the battlefield, needed a little work. I fear another trip to HMS TrainingField!
Finally, it is my sad duty to report that certain elements of the for'rard section were forced to retire from the engagement after I had sent in all of the available reserve force. (Able Seaman Frost (very unable at this point) was suitably keel-hauled.) Faced with leaving a hole in the strength of the attack, I was forced into the engagement myself. I am pleased however to report that my intervention didn't cause too much embarrassment and I am grateful to Master Chief Petty Officer Yataka Yazawa-san, on loan from His Imperial Japanese Maritime Self Defence Force, who bailed me out of a potentially nasty surprise when I found myself isolated deep behind enemy lines, attempting to grasp some advantage from Cabin Boy French's bizarre use of the foot as an attacking weapon. Indeed suffice it to say all of the crew found it slightly amusing from one so large.
I am also delighted to inform fleet command that we maintained a small force to lend support to the fleet's primary aircraft carrier group led by HMS Club, who also achieved victory. I am however duty bound to point out that several members of their crew appeared to be from the colonies, who had the affrontery to engage in a social game of rugger this weekend last at Fleet HQ, and heaven forbid, humiliate Fleet's finest. I assure you sir that no such tomfoolery was allowed in our crew and former Captain of Vessel Farmhand-Wallis was the only foreigner we allowed aboard ship, the fact of which we also gleefully reminded him.
I remain, in victory, your humble servant,
Commander Her Britannic Majesty's Ship Scorpion, Sir Andrew Bouchington-Blithertwit, KCV A, NGRY, TWA, T with bar
End Communique
Showing posts with label nieto. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nieto. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Monday, December 3, 2007
Club finish the task for 2007
CBRE Club 16 - 8 InProjects Kowloon
In the sunshine at So Kon Po, with 30,000 evangelical Christians singing in the stadium close by, Club saw off a concerted challenge from Kowloon to get into the Christmas break well ahead at the top of the Division One table with just one loss in eight games. Getting this result in the bag was critical for coach Quinton Wrigley and his team, even if the performance was once again a little on the scrappy side. After losing to HKCC, Club have rediscovered their ability to tough out victories when they are not playing at anything like their potential. The task after Christmas will be to achieve (to paraphrase Q) better execution of their gameplan.
Too often on Saturday, Club were dragged into a chaotic, harum-scarum game that suited Kowloon far better. What was required was a tight performance, with a strong Club back dominating in their opponents' 22 and Pat Foreman kicking for field position. Unfortunately, Club looked nervy and overly tense, making a large number of unforced errors, failing to secure their own possession and conceding vast numbers of penalties. When they did get the ball, apart from a 10 minute spell of good phase play in the Kowloon half, they too often threw the ball around in a style that might have been better suited to this weekend's sevens tournament than a must-win league game.
In fairness to Club, they were the only team trying to play rugby in this game. Kowloon's tactics revolved around crashing the ball up very directly through their big forwards. They had neither the ability in the half backs nor the necessary movement in the back division to orchestrate anything more sophisticated. Although 'Loon put in their tackles all day, their main objective seemed to be to antagonise and disrupt Club as much as possible, whether legitimately or otherwise. Their infringements at the breakdown were as blatant as a daylight bank robbery and their off-the-ball physicality had all the subtlety of a lunchtime mugging in Queen's Road Central.
This brings me on to a sad task, which is to criticise the referee. I hate doing this: there is no game without referees and - to a man- they all do their best to enforce the laws and act impartially. The sound of half-drunk middle-aged halfwits droning on about the referee from the sidelines is one of the curses of rugby. The gentleman who officiated on Saturday was certainly doing his best and was in no way partial. But he was, without question, incapable of refereeing a game at this level. His failure to spot and punish consistent infringeing at the ruck and maul and senseless acts of violence around the park was hugely culpable. Players will soon start to take advantage of incompetent refereeing (who can blame this?) and Kowloon certainly did, as they abandoned any pretence of an effort to move into onside positions when defending and used their hands in the ruck with impunity. The HKRFU needs to be absolutely sure that its Division One referees are up to the task because nothing can kill good, fair rugby as quickly and surely as an official who is not.
Anyway, ranting done. The game began brightly for Club when some good pressure from the backs resulted in 'Loon spilling the ball to Dan Parr, who moved the ball on to Richard Rouse for a score in the corner. Kowloon were soon back in contention, though, after some weak Club tackling allowed them to crash over. They soon followed this up with a penalty to take the lead. Two Pat Foreman penalties steadied the nerves, however, taking Club into half time at 11-8. Club probably played some of their best rugby in a longish period in the Kowloon 22 in the second half, but the final pass would not come for them and 'Loon's ability to raid the ruck in the knowledge they were unlikely to be penalised made it hard for Club to get quick ball. The half unfolded in this scrappy way until another good Club attack into Kowloon territory allowed Pete McKee to scoot round the blindside of a ruck and unload to Tim Griffin for a score. At 16-8, more than a converted try ahead, Club were essentially safe and the game was soon over.
Although the injury list remains long, Club were able to welcome back the McKee brothers Pete (at scrum half) and Mike (at full back). Pat Foreman and Callum Nieto worked tirelessly in the backs, while I thought the front row of Nigel Hobler, Ben Stobart and Pete Spizzirri were strong and Tim Edgar turned in a typically uncompromising performance.
This will not be one for the scrap books, but it took a lot of guts for Club to hang in there and they should be very happy with the first half of the season, as well as confident that they can go on and finish the job in 2008.
Harps
In the sunshine at So Kon Po, with 30,000 evangelical Christians singing in the stadium close by, Club saw off a concerted challenge from Kowloon to get into the Christmas break well ahead at the top of the Division One table with just one loss in eight games. Getting this result in the bag was critical for coach Quinton Wrigley and his team, even if the performance was once again a little on the scrappy side. After losing to HKCC, Club have rediscovered their ability to tough out victories when they are not playing at anything like their potential. The task after Christmas will be to achieve (to paraphrase Q) better execution of their gameplan.
Too often on Saturday, Club were dragged into a chaotic, harum-scarum game that suited Kowloon far better. What was required was a tight performance, with a strong Club back dominating in their opponents' 22 and Pat Foreman kicking for field position. Unfortunately, Club looked nervy and overly tense, making a large number of unforced errors, failing to secure their own possession and conceding vast numbers of penalties. When they did get the ball, apart from a 10 minute spell of good phase play in the Kowloon half, they too often threw the ball around in a style that might have been better suited to this weekend's sevens tournament than a must-win league game.
In fairness to Club, they were the only team trying to play rugby in this game. Kowloon's tactics revolved around crashing the ball up very directly through their big forwards. They had neither the ability in the half backs nor the necessary movement in the back division to orchestrate anything more sophisticated. Although 'Loon put in their tackles all day, their main objective seemed to be to antagonise and disrupt Club as much as possible, whether legitimately or otherwise. Their infringements at the breakdown were as blatant as a daylight bank robbery and their off-the-ball physicality had all the subtlety of a lunchtime mugging in Queen's Road Central.
This brings me on to a sad task, which is to criticise the referee. I hate doing this: there is no game without referees and - to a man- they all do their best to enforce the laws and act impartially. The sound of half-drunk middle-aged halfwits droning on about the referee from the sidelines is one of the curses of rugby. The gentleman who officiated on Saturday was certainly doing his best and was in no way partial. But he was, without question, incapable of refereeing a game at this level. His failure to spot and punish consistent infringeing at the ruck and maul and senseless acts of violence around the park was hugely culpable. Players will soon start to take advantage of incompetent refereeing (who can blame this?) and Kowloon certainly did, as they abandoned any pretence of an effort to move into onside positions when defending and used their hands in the ruck with impunity. The HKRFU needs to be absolutely sure that its Division One referees are up to the task because nothing can kill good, fair rugby as quickly and surely as an official who is not.
Anyway, ranting done. The game began brightly for Club when some good pressure from the backs resulted in 'Loon spilling the ball to Dan Parr, who moved the ball on to Richard Rouse for a score in the corner. Kowloon were soon back in contention, though, after some weak Club tackling allowed them to crash over. They soon followed this up with a penalty to take the lead. Two Pat Foreman penalties steadied the nerves, however, taking Club into half time at 11-8. Club probably played some of their best rugby in a longish period in the Kowloon 22 in the second half, but the final pass would not come for them and 'Loon's ability to raid the ruck in the knowledge they were unlikely to be penalised made it hard for Club to get quick ball. The half unfolded in this scrappy way until another good Club attack into Kowloon territory allowed Pete McKee to scoot round the blindside of a ruck and unload to Tim Griffin for a score. At 16-8, more than a converted try ahead, Club were essentially safe and the game was soon over.
Although the injury list remains long, Club were able to welcome back the McKee brothers Pete (at scrum half) and Mike (at full back). Pat Foreman and Callum Nieto worked tirelessly in the backs, while I thought the front row of Nigel Hobler, Ben Stobart and Pete Spizzirri were strong and Tim Edgar turned in a typically uncompromising performance.
This will not be one for the scrap books, but it took a lot of guts for Club to hang in there and they should be very happy with the first half of the season, as well as confident that they can go on and finish the job in 2008.
Harps
Friday, November 16, 2007
No complacency for Club, more sting for Scorps
Friday night is here again, which can only mean one thing - tomorrow is Saturday, the day consecrated to rugby and beer (preferably in that order).
Club, unbeaten and 14 points clear of Valley at the top of Division One, will play HKCC at the Football Club, kicking off at the usual time of 6pm. Club are without Nigel Hobler, Dan Parr and Andrew Chambers this weekend, bringing Pat Foreman, Callum Nieto and your correspondent into the side. 'Big' Tim Robinson (the lock), thereby distinguised from 'Little' Tim Robinson (the winger), marks his return to Hong Kong rugby by making the Club bench (after playing for Drags). Jared Smith makes his starting debut at openside for the injured Rory Hussey, while Kris Marin returns to replace Rob Mills, also injured, at number eight.
With no other side having any realistic hope of catching Club in the league phase of the season, they will have to be sure to maintain the levels of intensity and determination that have carried them this far. Aberdeen may not be able to win the league, but Club remain the ultimate scalp in this division and you can be sure their opponents will come out with tomahawks in hand.
In Division Two, it's a 3pm Club derby for two teams with contrasting fortunes. Dragons have been in effervescent form, with a powerful set of forwards that have dominated every pack they have encountered, and a lightning backline. Plus they have Phil Reid. Scorpions, on the other hand, are having a miserable season. Last year's Division Two Grand Champions are languishing at the bottom of the table this year, with just one win (that remarkable 28-22 fightback win over Valley on 6 October). Scorps will know that they badly need to show some spirit and aggression to restore a sense of pride in their season. But what better occasion to start a turnaround than against their Clubmates from Drags? Scorps will need to dig deep but they can challenge here if they come in with the right attitude and get off to a good start.
It's a similar story in Division Two, where Select bestride the table like a colossus, while Sequins bring up the rear. Sadly, no-one tells me anything about these teams so I can provide no further illumination. Animal's back hair could have fallen out and Sam Cooper could have become anorexic for all I know... In any case, Select's game against SJM Macau has been postponed while Sequins will take on the Kowloon Pussies at So Kon Po. If someone would like to tell me what happens in that game, I'd be much obliged.
Also... PLEASE TAKE SOME BL*ODY PHOTOS AND SEND THEM TO ME SO I CAN PUT THEM UP ON THIS BLOG. Send them to adam.harper@asia.ing.com
I'm off for a quiet dinner and an early night after something of a night of it with Nick 'Jamesy' James & co last night. Bring on tomorrow!
Harps
Club v HKCC, 6pm, HKFC
1. Adam Harper
2.Tom Cameron
3. Peter Spizzirri
4. Tim Griffin
5. Angus Washington
6. Tim Edgar
7. Jared Smith (AQ)
8. Kris Marin
9. Peter McKee
10. James Kibble
11. Pat Foreman
12. Richard Rouse (c)
13. Nigel D'Acre
14. Callum Nieto
15. Mike McKee (AQ)
Replacements:
Damian Babis
Ben Stobart
Tim Robinson (BIG)
Adam Raby (AQ)
Ed Johnson
Tim Robinson
Drags v Scorps. 3pm, HKFC
1. Rob Naylor
2. Ben Stobart
3. Damien Babis
4. Peyton Burnett
5. Tim Robinson (Big)
6. Shannon Ford
7. Rob Hewitson
8. Steve Mathews
9. Phil Reid ( C)
10. Robin Bredbury
11. Ed Johnston
12. Simon Shoebridge
13. Tim Robinson (not so Big)
14. Adam Raby
15. Ed Cosgrove
Replacements:
Ben Harris
Ben Michael
Andy Walters
Troy Hogan
Romain Perret
Diarmuid Kinsella
Club, unbeaten and 14 points clear of Valley at the top of Division One, will play HKCC at the Football Club, kicking off at the usual time of 6pm. Club are without Nigel Hobler, Dan Parr and Andrew Chambers this weekend, bringing Pat Foreman, Callum Nieto and your correspondent into the side. 'Big' Tim Robinson (the lock), thereby distinguised from 'Little' Tim Robinson (the winger), marks his return to Hong Kong rugby by making the Club bench (after playing for Drags). Jared Smith makes his starting debut at openside for the injured Rory Hussey, while Kris Marin returns to replace Rob Mills, also injured, at number eight.
With no other side having any realistic hope of catching Club in the league phase of the season, they will have to be sure to maintain the levels of intensity and determination that have carried them this far. Aberdeen may not be able to win the league, but Club remain the ultimate scalp in this division and you can be sure their opponents will come out with tomahawks in hand.
In Division Two, it's a 3pm Club derby for two teams with contrasting fortunes. Dragons have been in effervescent form, with a powerful set of forwards that have dominated every pack they have encountered, and a lightning backline. Plus they have Phil Reid. Scorpions, on the other hand, are having a miserable season. Last year's Division Two Grand Champions are languishing at the bottom of the table this year, with just one win (that remarkable 28-22 fightback win over Valley on 6 October). Scorps will know that they badly need to show some spirit and aggression to restore a sense of pride in their season. But what better occasion to start a turnaround than against their Clubmates from Drags? Scorps will need to dig deep but they can challenge here if they come in with the right attitude and get off to a good start.
It's a similar story in Division Two, where Select bestride the table like a colossus, while Sequins bring up the rear. Sadly, no-one tells me anything about these teams so I can provide no further illumination. Animal's back hair could have fallen out and Sam Cooper could have become anorexic for all I know... In any case, Select's game against SJM Macau has been postponed while Sequins will take on the Kowloon Pussies at So Kon Po. If someone would like to tell me what happens in that game, I'd be much obliged.
Also... PLEASE TAKE SOME BL*ODY PHOTOS AND SEND THEM TO ME SO I CAN PUT THEM UP ON THIS BLOG. Send them to adam.harper@asia.ing.com
I'm off for a quiet dinner and an early night after something of a night of it with Nick 'Jamesy' James & co last night. Bring on tomorrow!
Harps
Club v HKCC, 6pm, HKFC
1. Adam Harper
2.Tom Cameron
3. Peter Spizzirri
4. Tim Griffin
5. Angus Washington
6. Tim Edgar
7. Jared Smith (AQ)
8. Kris Marin
9. Peter McKee
10. James Kibble
11. Pat Foreman
12. Richard Rouse (c)
13. Nigel D'Acre
14. Callum Nieto
15. Mike McKee (AQ)
Replacements:
Damian Babis
Ben Stobart
Tim Robinson (BIG)
Adam Raby (AQ)
Ed Johnson
Tim Robinson
Drags v Scorps. 3pm, HKFC
1. Rob Naylor
2. Ben Stobart
3. Damien Babis
4. Peyton Burnett
5. Tim Robinson (Big)
6. Shannon Ford
7. Rob Hewitson
8. Steve Mathews
9. Phil Reid ( C)
10. Robin Bredbury
11. Ed Johnston
12. Simon Shoebridge
13. Tim Robinson (not so Big)
14. Adam Raby
15. Ed Cosgrove
Replacements:
Ben Harris
Ben Michael
Andy Walters
Troy Hogan
Romain Perret
Diarmuid Kinsella
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